I've come to the conclusion that, in lieu of my lack of ideas, I'll have to fill the world with new ones.  Stories, mainly, about my usage of dangerous materials.  I will describe, in detail, my knowledge, experience, and knowledge of the dangerous drugs of America.  Due to some inspiring bastard I just learned about, I will start with Salvia Divinorum.


I was at a party with some of my close friends, and we were getting totally high the entire time.  We first went out on the patio and each smoked a bowl to ourselves out of this kid's giant, quadruple perk, other-stuff-tricked-out-masterpiece bong, and I was completely ripped seconds after taking the hit.  It was totally smooth, but hit me like a trucker's truck.  The night proceeded as planned, we all drank some vodka and smoked more bowls and blunts, but then bong boy had a revelation: "anyone want to smoke some salvia?"  I was all over that shit.  We went downstairs and he loaded a large bowl of the stuff in his bubbler.  I took a huge hit, held it for as long as I could, and then let it all go.  My friends were all sitting on the bed next to me, watching.  I felt this horrible sensation; it was like my skin was wet, and trying to pull itself off of my body.  That subsided quickly though, because all of a sudden my companions started becoming mirror images on the other side of the room and encircling me, pulling me underneath some sort of ethereal carpet.  Their smiles frightened me because they began to look evil and taunting, and I thought they were going to kill me, or force me to leave the Earth.  All I could say was, "holy shit.  Holy shit.  Holy fuck."  They images started wrapping tighter around me for a while, until they completely engulfed me.  That's when I snapped back to reality.
For some reason, I decided that I hadn't had enough, so I smoked another, even larger hit.  I don't really remember what happened after that.  I only have a few images.  My salvia-supplying-buddy began to look like a cross between an elephant and an egyptian cat, and my other associate became a pyramid-like creature with large teeth.  The next thing I remember is coming to on the bed and staring across the room at the only girl at the party.  Her boyfriend sat next to me, laughing.  I still don't know if I'm still salvia tripping or not, because I honestly felt, when I came down, that I was in a new dimension.  Like I'd left and am never going to come back to the world I was in before.  Maybe it's the hallucinogen's influence on me.  Or maybe I'm just insane.  But there's this nagging feeling deep down inside me that some day (maybe the day I die) I will return to that room, my true reality, and everything I've been experiencing since that day has been a prolonged lifetime generated by the drug.  I've heard similar stories.  That's what scares the shit out of me.

Later my friends told me that I spent the majority of that second trip walking around the room saying "I don't know what's going on" repeatedly.  One of them said I fell on him, but he wasn't willing to divulge the full details.  I still don't know why.


  1. That is one crazy trip bro. I love the way you write by the way. :)

  2. I appreciate you saying that

  3. First time I tried this, we did it at a public park. I don't remember ever exhaling, but the pavilion that we were sitting under turned into a giant can opener, and we were all stuck inside it. The only words I spoke my whole trip were "can opener", and then I laughed historically, unable to speak no matter how hard I tried. I stood up and gravity felt like it was pulling in all directions. A woman walked by and I saw her multiply everywhere, apparently I pointed at her and laughed my ass off. When I came around I had a neat afterglow kind of feeling.