3/24/2011

Nutmeg

Nutmeg - Seasonal Spice or Major Trip?

This is the second post of trip week.  It's time for some MEDUCATION!

Nutmeg is commonly used as a seasoning on many different culinary products.  It's mainly used as a little "touch of flavor" when you need to spice up a dish.  What people might not know is that nutmeg contains myristicin, which is a delirient.  You can find that information directly on wikipedia, but I know these things from experience; don't judge.  Ipso facto, if you can stomach consuming about two tablespoons of natural, unprocessed nutmeg, you will experience a potent high characterized by hallucinations, confusion, and euphoria.  Nutmeg differs from other drugs because, when taken orally, the high can last up to two or three days.  There are some negative side effects as well (tastes terrible going down, nausea, body aches), but I personally never encountered the latter two.  So, if you're ready, here's a guide on how to become one with the nut.  That just sounds bad.

STEP ONE
Acquire two tablespoons of nutmeg.  I hear getting the actual nuts and grinding them up produces the freshest and most pure form, but I bought mine at the local Real Food Store for $5 and it worked just fine.  Do NOT buy the little nutmeg containers from grocery stores.  It's not worth your while.
This is the bunk shit

STEP TWO
Consume the nutmeg.  I mixed mine with water and just drank it the first time I did it.  Terrible idea.  I puke whenever I taste nutmeg now.  I heard about people getting empty pill capsules and putting the 'meg into those, and I think that would be the easiest way to do it without that nasty flavor; that is, if you can manage to take 30 pills.

STEP THREE
Just wait.  It usually takes about five hours for the effects to come on.  I've heard of people taking it, then thinking it's not working and taking more, and ending up in the hospital.  Just wait your ass off, because double dosing on this shit is a very bad idea.  It comes on slow.

STEP FOUR
Trip balls.  And keep tripping for a long ass time.  You'll fall asleep completely stoned only to wake up the next day in the exact same state.  This is why you should make sure to have a few days cleared for this type of endeavor.  I never experienced it, but I hear there can be a very harsh hangover from this stuff.


MY NUTMEG TRIP
 
     I was a drug fiend in those days, and I was desperate to try a new high.  I didn't want to robo trip anymore, and benadryl was out of the question for me.  So, ever faithful, erowid pointed me in a new direction.  I skipped on over to the food store and stole (erm... bought) enough nutmeg to reach the stratosphere.  I brought the shit home and emptied the plastic bag container's contents onto my counter top.  I'd already formulated my plan hours ago:  I would fill a glass with water... and add nutmeg to it!  Brilliant!  So I did that, mixed it around, and I ended up with a globular concoction.  The brown spice seemed to form weird fuzzy bubbles in the water, and they murkily floated to the top and popped occasionally, dispersing vile gunk throughout the liquid.  I plugged my nose, took a few gulps, and gagged my way into the bathroom, cup still in hand.  My internal mantra was screaming, "fuck this!  Puke, for god's sake, Jake!  What's wrong with you!?"  But I held firm, and sloshed the rest down like a champion.
     Now it was time for the come-up.  I just couldn't contain my excitement.  I didn't know what to do while I waited, so I ended up sitting in bed for about four hours, just looking at the ceiling and listening to avant garde metal groups.  When I finally popped the headphones off and went over to my mirror, I knew something was going on.  My face was just different in some way, and I couldn't quite put my finger on it.  I must have stood there in front of that mirror for at least an hour, making faces like this:
video
By the time I realized what I was doing, it was already too late.  I was smashed and shattered.  I threw the ipod back on to some Neurosis with my bose sound-canceling headphones and biked through the streets, high as Edward Norton's kite.  The last thing I remember about that night is looking to my right as I passed a stop sign to see a carriage being pulled by an enormous tarantula.

What's the moral?  I don't know.  But listening to Through Silver in Blood on nutmeg was the scariest twelve minutes of my entire life.

2 comments:

  1. Awesome. Where can I find a food store with lax security.

    ReplyDelete
  2. That sounds crazy. I've heard about some people with really bad trips.

    ReplyDelete