3/22/2011

Spliff + NOS + Melatonin

I can't seem to stop writing about drugs, but all these memories have started to rush back to me ever since I became sober (9 days and counting - not much, but whatever).

Alright, now here's the deal.  Say, for example, you're having a bad day.  Well, there's a quick fix to it, and I'm here to tell you about it.  You'll need a few things:

  • 1 x Cigarette
  • .5 grams Marijuana (approximately half a decent bowl, for those not experienced in the metric system)
  • 1 x NOS Energy Drink
  • 6mg Melatonin
It's pretty damn simple.  You combine the pot and the cigarette, successfully creating a highly addictive spliff.  Then, when you're done with that shit, you wash the melatonin down with your nos, making absolutely certain that you finish the drink in under 15 minutes.  Finally, wait 15 minutes for the melatonin and stimulation from the drink to hit, and then... light the spliff up.  Once you're done smoking the fucker it will all smash into you so hard that you won't even realize where you are.  Proof:

There's me with my spliff and NOS (you can tell that I'm already melatonining up because of the glassy eyes).  The signature tie-off with the cig is a trademark of my spliff-making technologies.  Now, you might be thinking - what the fuck?  Isn't this kid going to kill himself?  The answer I would give you is, "probably.  Bitch."  I still don't remember where I was when I took this.  All I know is that I sent the pic to my girlfriend before disappearing into the night.  I eventually came to in the high school parking lot, laughing hysterically and pounding the ground with my fist.

As Lil' John might say, "you scared!  You scared!"  But I'm not scared.  Not at all.  I mean, they can't pin anything on me for posting questionable drug pictures online unless they have specific evidence, right?  Who are "they" anyway?  I don't know.  And I sure as hell don't want to find out.



One more, unrelated thing:  I would very much like to see some hate mail going to my email address:  jakethewriteman@gmail.com  -  If you ever need to vent, want someone to tell how shitty your life is, want to tell someone how shitty their writing is, I am always available.  Also, I have a wealth of knowledge about pokemon, Hunter S. Thompson, movies, and music.  I'm a libra, and I enjoy long walks on the beach.  Totally available, ladies ;)

5 comments:

  1. So i got question, what about redbulls etc energy drinks? and what about melatonin, is it easy to get without ask a doctor to write you this?

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  2. I only smoke turkish royales, i'm curious as to what your brand selection is.

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  3. I smoke camels, marlboros, and pyramids when I'm tight on cash. Never tried to royales. Cheap/expensive? Unbeatable taste?

    You can pretty much use any energy drink, but I chose NOS because it's really strong. And you can get melatonin over the counter anywhere. Wal mart, local grocery store... wherever.

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  4. I might actually try that. haha

    ReplyDelete